Dear Pizza Hut,
I feel the Pizza Hut restaurant chain would do well to reintroduce its phrase ‘Let’s hit the hut’ back into the public arena. Not only does this differ from the phrase ‘Let’s have some pizza’, it also includes the word ‘hut’ which rhymes with ‘gut’ – gut of course, is a well known euphemism for the stomach. Endulge me if you will, but here’s my idea.
A fat man and a thin lady are sitting on their red sofa. They are hungry and very much in love. They are thinking of things to eat. The fat man is especially hungry and will probably eat his own hands if not fed soon, so the lady, knowing that the man will probably bite off his own writing limbs suggests they hit the hut. The man mishears her and begins to beat his stomach like a drum.
Then they go to Pizza Hut.
The sofa was red, because that is the corporate colour of Pizza Hut. In actual fact, most sofas are not red, but white, or grey, or maybe blue, but not red. Still, the pizza hungry masses will not notice this, and you can pass the advert off as something normal. Also, fat people will really like it, especially men as it will give something to look forward to, between meals, snacks and elevenses, which brings me neatly onto my next idea. It’s called ‘Hut Time’ and it basically means you get the Â£3.49 lunch deal a bit cheaper if you come in at 11. In fact, it is over Â£1.20 cheaper, depending on what time you arrive at Pizza Hut, and 2p is applied for each minute after 11… see, it pays to skip work and go and eat Pizza – it pays to hit the hut.
If you would like to expand upon any of the concepts I have included here, please let me know. I regularly enjoy pizza and would be more than interested in any anecdotes about pizza you have to share.
Yours, with love,
PS. I might hit the hut soon.
Dear Pizza Hut,