Dustin Eyejuice – Classic Rock Ballads

In this series of segments, local man (thick Plymouthian accent, aged about 29.. not a janner as such) Dustin Eyejuice offers helpful advice to listeners as well as complaints about the show. Each segment should be recorded in the style of a message he left on an answering machine.
In the first segment, Dustin bemoans the fact that the Plymcast appears to be taking well over six months to get a single episode made, and the fact that he still hasn’t been paid for any of the work he did in the pilot episode of the podcast. In further episodes, Dustin will be a guest but always in the form of a phone call left during the odd hours of the night.

[FX: Beep]
Hello? Hello? Hello… This is Dustin. I’ve been meaning to call for a couple of days, but my phone got cut off. Remember when you said you’d pay for me all the work I did for the pilot of your webcast thing? Well, the money never arrived… and your show seems to be taking about six months to be made! Anyway, I had an idea earlier, so please put this in your show too.. it’s a way for a way people could make money quite easily. Remember those adverts you’d used to get on TV at about 3am, for records called things like ‘Classic Rock Ballads Volume 5’ or devices to get the yolk out of an egg? They were never available in shops and you always had to send money to some random address in Plymouth. Well, why not harness the enormous potential of being on something people might listen to and sell your own random thing. I’ve got a couple of products your listeners would enjoy and I would like you to sell them for me. First up is a special kind of pen that can write invisble messages on paper and the other is a CD of songs I’ve made on my keyboard. Both are just 6 quid each, plus postage. Send money to Dustin Eyejuice, Flat 19, 12 We… [cut off]