In this series of segments, local man (thick Plymouthian accent, aged about 29.. not a janner as such) Dustin Eyejuice offers helpful advice to listeners as well as complaints about the show. Each segment should be recorded in the style of a message he left on an answering machine.
In this fourth segment, Dustin calls to put out a plea for the lady he spoke to last week to ring him again. He also offers some sympathy to the boy he saw in the road playing with a rat.
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[FX: Beep]
DUSTIN
This is Dustin Eyejuice. Firstly, a please to Lesley from the North Sea Libaries Association who spoke to me last Wednesday. I think you might have got the number of the phone box down wrong. I will try and call you back, but I didn’t write down the number I rang you on, as I was trying to get any lady on the line, using my 0800 system. Anyway, on Thursday, annoyed that Lesley hadn’t called back, I took a walk around Plymouth when I saw a small boy sitting by the side of the road, just off Sebastian Avenue. He was playing with a rat that he has befriended. In my dreary haze, confused and hormonal, I found myself kicking the rat to a premature death. To the boy, and to the boy’s father who proceeded to claim it was actually a cat, I offer this message of sympathy – when you’ve got your own podcast, and you’re getting offers from Hollywood to appear in films and the bloody North Sea Libraries Association haven’t rung back, it can all get on top of you and until you’re in the same place, I suggest you let it drop and stop asking the barmaids at Hammer’s where I live or when I’m going to buy you a new cat. Bye.